Conflict Through Dialogue

In this scene Prince Valentin confronts the fact that his personal guard are in a stupor and neglecting their duty. The conversation with the Captain introduces a threat to his life, raising the stakes. It presents him with new information that calls into question his understanding of the situation.
[Extract from 'The Vessel']

The drummer’s eyes were bloodshot, and the flickering orange light distorted his face so that it looked barely human. He didn’t seem to pay any attention to the prince, and kept on beating.Among those slumped against the wall was the Captain of the Guard, his eyes closed, his lips twisted strangely. Despite his uniform, he looked more like a sleeping beggar than the commander of a royal company.Valentin watched from the doorway. There was no need for him to move or speak for his aspect alone, utterly awake and upright, cut through the stupor and slowly the soldiers broke out of it and started shaking their companions. At last someone kicked the drummer, and he stopped and looked around him as if waking up. The sudden silence made the Captain groan, and his eyes opened and stared up at the prince.Already Valentin had the urge to raise his voice and condemn these men for what they were, but he restrained himself.
“Captain,” he said. “Forgive me for intruding. I wonder if you could tell me exactly what's going on here?”Ignoring his question, the large man kept staring.“You’re going to die,” he said. His eyes were bloodshot like the drummer’s and they hardly blinked.“Excuse me?”When they did, it seemed slow and deliberate – a covering and uncovering of the eyes.“You heard me. That’s what’s going on.”The prince was speechless. He couldn’t believe his ears.
The Captain looked around the darkened room at his men, in their sprawling postures.“And you’re lucky,” he said. “’Cause we won’t be given such a pleasant end. No – we’ve been sent out here to rot, and everyone knows it.” At this, his eyes creased at the corners, and he raised his hand as if in a toast. “And I say, if we’re going to rot, we may as well start now.” He laughed, his stout body shaking, and some of his men laughed with him. It was a strange and lifeless sound.The prince steeled himself.“Enough,” he said, over the laughter. “It is clear you have polluted your minds with some spirit and there is no sense talking to you. But understand that this stops now – whatever you have been taking will be disposed of. And as for you,” he said to the Captain, “I strip you of your title.”The other man smiled, unperturbed.“On whose authority?”Valentin gritted his teeth.“My own, as crown prince. You are all my subjects.”The man kept smiling.“You’re the crown prince, are you? Heir to the throne? Then why did your father send you out here, to the middle of nowhere? You think he’d send his favourite son to die where no one could bury him?”“What?”“He always preferred Arturio, didn’t he? Everyone knows that. That’s why you’re here, and he’s safe back at the palace. What do you think will happen when the king passes away, and you’re not there?”Valentin’s hand moved to the pommel of his sword, but the man continued.“Oh yes. It’s all been planned perfectly.” His lips twitched and for a moment those reddened eyes were distant before they refocussed on Valentin. “But don’t you worry, your highness. I wouldn’t dare to think of belittling this sacred task or undermining your authority. No, I wouldn’t dare to question the ‘crown prince’”.With that he spat but in his dulled state did not spit hard enough and the foaming liquid dripped out of his mouth and down his front. He continued looking at the prince with an expression of utter contempt as the spit ran down his own red tunic.

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Monologue (Voice & Worldbuilding)

In this extract, the character of Anaïs's aunt is introduced. She has arrived by sky ship. The extract works both as worldbuilding for the sky isle of Bel Verian, and introduces the bubbly personality of the aunt which will be flipped to become sinister in later sections.
[Extract from ‘The Vessel’]

Anaïs’s aunt was not in the procession. She had come on her own private ship that had followed the enormous one, Eudaimonion, for the sake of convenience. A vessel could easily get lost in the banks of cloud and miss Itha entirely, and as the option of tailing the larger ship was available, her aunt said it would have been silly of them not to make the most of it.She came out later, and her servants took her bags to the house. When she came to it, she laughed and with a toss of her auburn hair turned to Anaïs and said: “I can’t wait to show you, really, you’ll look gorgeous.”Whatever her aunt had in store for her, Anaïs was not looking forward to it. Her mother had never invited this aunt while she had been alive, and clearly the two had not got on well. Now, she was coming with the aim of taking Anaïs away from Itha, something Anaïs both dreaded and longed for.Nanny led them into the living room, and tea was served, and it wasn’t long before her aunt undid the glinting clasps of her bag, and started taking things out to show, chatting to Anaïs all the while.“Really, I can’t think what you get up to here. Doesn’t it get boring for you? In Bel Verian there’s the theatre, the concert halls, the aesthetary, and that’s just the start of it. I’ve tried to keep you a secret – honestly I have – but people are just so curious. Only the other day Lord Zahar was telling me even the prince wants to meet you, he’ll be making a visit to Bel Verian soon. No, Arturio, not Valentin. No, thank the gods, we won’t have to worry about him for some time now. But really, they’re nothing alike, you needn’t worry: Arturio’s delightful.“Look at that, isn’t it charming?” She held out a printed image of Bel Verian, a seemingly perfect isle, with nothing to spoil the grace of its slim-necked towers. “I just know we’ll have a wonderful time. What my sister was thinking, keeping you here, I can’t understand, but anyway, you’re old enough to decide for yourself now, and I should think you’d like to see a bit of the world. When we’ve done Bel Verian – well, you never really can do Bel Verian – there’s Gemen too if that interests you, and then the other way there’s Syrtsay, and you can say you’ve seen both the capitols. Still, Bel Verian’s nicer than either of them, and there’s nowhere more exciting – right at the edge of the two Empires: you can’t have it better than that.”There was something lulling about her voice, like the chatter of birdsong, or the sound of a running brook.She had brought many things: as well as pictures, there were perfumes, earrings and all kinds of substances for painting the lips or rubbing, dark into the eyebrows. But of all her presents, the last was the one that counted. Anaïs had never seen anything like it. As her aunt took it out of the bag, she could only stand and watch as it flowed out: silver surfaces, lace, gossamer silk that seemed to shine even in the meagre light, the textures of the needlework drawing her closer, to touch, to check that it was real.

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Dialogue with Multiple Characters in Tavern

In this extract, Anaïs meets the other main character, Prince Valentin, for the first time. The extract serves to build and draw out tension and suspense as the reader already knows Anaïs wants to get on the vessel, and Valentin is in charge of it. The reader assumes this is leading to Anaïs getting on board even though women are not allowed on the vessel. It also shows an ambiguous relationship between the two characters, a source of curiosity for the reader. We show minor characters with different stereotypes (Radi, the joker, Elin the one who doesn't quite fit in.)
[Extract from ‘The Vessel’]

The room was taken up with a set of four small tables placed together to make one great one, on which lay a spread of the food and drink she had seen coming up earlier. Seated around it, with more space between them than seemed necessary, were three other young men.“May I introduce, first on your left, last night’s champion, the precocious, the extraordinary… Alexey.”The youth in question gave a slight bow without rising. He was handsome and athletic with an easy confidence. Like her guide, he was dressed in nobleman’s garb, his fingers ringed with gold.
Radi continued in his over-grand, mock oratorial tones. “To your right, the man of action, rising star of the siege-weaponry division, the meticulous, the mysterious… Elin.”Anaïs found herself laughing – a high, breathless sound.Elin shifted in his seat, then rose and bowed.“But Radigae,” he protested. “We don’t know who she is –”“I’ll get to that. And last but not least…” He gestured to the one at the end of the table. “He who needs no introduction: the humble…” Alexey snorted. “Easy-going…” Another snort. “I will say no more. This is the friend I was telling you about. He’s called Valio.”The one called ‘Valio’ sat somewhat apart from the rest, straight-backed and silent. All the time Radi was speaking, Elin had been glancing back to him as if to get confirmation on how to react. Now Valio rose in one smooth movement without bending his back and walked over, regarding her with eyes that were at the same time sharp and questioning but also removed.She had seen his face before – she was sure of it, but from where she did not know.“And what is your name?” he asked.“Anaïs.” Her voice was insubstantial. She wished she could sound stronger, more sure of herself.“Anaïs.” He turned away. “Radi, you’re mad. Leave this poor girl alone.”Alexey looked up, then offered her a glass. As she did not take it, he set it on the table next to his own. “Forgive our friend,” he said, motioning towards Radi. “He promised us a wealth of attractions on the way down, which since then he has been trying to provide with… mixed degrees of success.”He filled the glass with brandy, and topped up his own.Radi pulled up another chair. “Please. We have brandy and ale but if you’d prefer wine, that can be arranged.” He took the glass of brandy Alexey had poured and put it before her. “Do sit down. Valio, a toast.” ‘Valio’ ignored him.The prince, who had been engaged talking to Elin, raised his eyebrows."Well. If the people demand it..." He glanced questioningly at Anaïs, as if asking why she was still there. For a moment she wanted to leave, but then she remembered the search party. Here was as good a place to hide as anywhere. But that wasn't the only thing – looking at the prince, other possibilities started forming in her mind. If only she could persuade him to help her.

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Character Biographies

Lord Banagion
After a vicious civil war took his family and razed his home city to the ground, Banagion vowed to restore order.He is a tank character, riding an ithar, an armoured reptilian beast with the size and strength to trample cavalry. Wielding a long spear with a blade at its tip, Banagion can release a flurry of strikes, slicing through his opponents.Banagion seeks where the battle is hottest, a bulwark against the forces of chaos.Kaira Biaolan
The daughter of Wu Biaolan, lord of the undercity, Kaira grew up in a luxurious palace far from the light of day and other children.Inheriting her father's powers, she sucks human souls from the bodies of her victims, each kill adding to her strength.Kaira preys on weakness; her attacks are brutal and come without warning.

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